Thursday, July 18, 2013

Club Penguin Times issue #404

Take a penguin peek at this week's issue of the Club Penguin Times!
IMPERIAL FORCES LOOM
Club Penguin needs YOU!

Message from Princess Cadence -- Club Penguin--I'm in desperate need of your help! we're all in GRAVE DANGER!! The Death Star is coming! Darth Herbert is gonna TOTALLY destroy the island.

The freedom of the galaxy's at stake and U R our only hope! It is up to you to defeat the Death Star, triumph over the dark side, and save the galaxy! If we fall, Imperial Forces will totes control the island. You guys! There's no dancing on the dark side! And I don't think Darth Herbert likes puffles! Without your help we're all DOOMED!


NEWSFLASH

Construction crews needed at the Dock! Bring a jellied-fish sandwich and your own hard hat.


PREPARE FOR SPACE FLIGHT
Astronaut training not for the faint of heart

By JPG -- If you think you have what it takes for space flight--thank again. It requires by-the-book, no-nonsense focus. You gotta be tough. You gotta be bold. You gotta be willing to take risks. If you're scared of heights, you're going to need al ot of courage. So leave your scaredy-pants at the door.

Ready to dive in? Here are some tips to help:
  • Practice jumping really high. If you think you've jumped high enough-- JUMP HIGHER! We're going to space!
  • Conquer gravity. Get your friends to spin you round, as fast as they can!
  • And there are three things you can't forget: fuel, food AND a green puffle. Don't forget 'em.

One more thing, ice cream in space is terrible. So, stock up on astronaut ice cream (the dehydrated stuff--it's much better)!


UPCOMING EVENTS

On now! Furniture Catalog
Galactic empire, or Rebel base? What's your intergalactic igloo style?

July 25 Fly into Space
Now hiring: Rebels to defeat the dark side. Apply within.
Death Star looms closer...

Find the collectible pin! Hidden now until July 24.
Next pin hidden: July 25-August 7


ASK AUNT ARCTIC

Where's Captain Rockhopper?
-Dunn O'Ware

I have been wondering the same thing myself these days. It is rather unusual he hasn't sailed his way to Club Penguin lately. But, if I know Rockhopper, he's probably in the midst of a grand adventure. Perhaps both he and Yarr have stumped upon a treasure trove? Or, maybe he's relaxing on the beach of a newly discovered land. Wherever he is, there are a few things we know for certain.

He's either discovering treasure, drinking barrels of cream soda, or enjoying mounds of stinky cheese... I just hope he remembers to check his beard for crumbs and stinky socks. Where do you think Rockhopper is?


I've heard rumors of a golden puffle. Are they true?
-Shyne E.

The golden puffle is perhaps the most mysterious creature of all. Some say it lives under the Iceberg. Others say it can be found hiding in the Forest. So far, the only discoveries made, have been impostors. In Quest for the Golden Puffle, it's nothing but a statue of chocolate. And a fake one was once used as bait to capture Herbert.

We're no closer to the truth, but conspiracy theorists believe it's out there. A golden puffle would be an interesting discovery for Club Penguin. So, please report any sightings!


SECRETS

SNOW TREKKER

Ever wonder what that yellow vehicle in the bottle at the Lighthouse is? It's a Snow Trekker! And they've been seen around Club Penguin since the very beginning. One appeared in the Pizza Parlor during the Music Jam. And we also saw one in the Yeti Cave at the end of the Great Snow Maze. You never know when one might surface again, so keep a look out!

JOKES
Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A. Nacho cheese!
-Skythekid66

Q. What happened to the cow that didn't shave?
A. It grew a moo-stache!
-Breezy32123

Q. What has 6 faces and 21 ears?
A. A dice!
-Choco N Star

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can't tuna fish!
-Blis123

Q. What do you call a cat and a lemon?
A. A sourpuss!
-Emmazon2

Q. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if the flew over the bay they would be bagels!
-Lapianista99

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Cargo beep beep!
-Jjsuper102

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